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  Big Lou's Mission Statement

  (What I'm thinking when I review your CD)

My mission in doing these CD reviews is to accomplish one or more of the following three objectives:

1. To quote Spock, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." If I say a CD is good, and it's not, I've pleased the band and maybe a handful of their friends, and lied to however many thousands of people may end up reading the review and subsequently wasting their money and time on a bad CD. It's my job to go down a dry riverbed filled with a thousand glittering stones, pick each of them up one by one, and carefully examine them to find the few gems in the bunch. If your CD is not a gem (in my opinion) then I owe it to the readers to say as much. Malice towards none, justice for all.
    
   
2. I hope that musicians will learn something from my critique. If I say your singing isn't that great, odds are, I'm right. I want your singing to be good. After all, nobody in their right mind sticks a CD in the player and says, "Man, I hope the vocals on this CD suck!" If your singing is no good and I say as much, you can get as angry as you want but it won't make your singing any better. That doesn't mean you have to abandon your project. You can always sing in a lower key, have Joe the bass player sing, or interview for a new lead singer for the band. Maybe that's what has been holding you back until now. Remember, what I'm thinking is nothing new – most everyone who listens to your band will have had similar thoughts, unless they are tone deaf. I'm just one who will tell you.
    
   
3. Every so often, there's an effort that is so poor as to be basically unsalvageable. In that case, I recommend that the group members consider going into a different line of work, using a soundproof room, or going out into the desert to play. If you are in that category, you are the one who should be thanking me the most, because I'm trying to keep you from wasting your life doing something you're absolutely no good at.

There you have it. Go forth, multiply, work on your technique, and remember the odds have to be at least 10,000 to one against you, me, or anybody else making the big time.

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